I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
