can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
