your parents love me but you hate me
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
