This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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