I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
