Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You smell like stripper and shame
No I am not eating basil off your cock
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm just crazy horny about you
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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