make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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