that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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