I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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