I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
