Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
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