i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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