the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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