before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize
