He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
