: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
She is in my trunk
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
