If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
