He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
