Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
