How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
i think i just lost a toe
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
