I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I've blown a few things in my day
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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