I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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