we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
