just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
