you guys were way drunker than both of me
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
