So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
God, I missed his penis.
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