this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Randomize
