Swine flu. Run for my life!
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
