Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
So. Much. Porn.
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