Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I need moral support for this bender
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
