Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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