If that was your dad, he is hot
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
