Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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