bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
