his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
