her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
