Moan for me like Helen Keller
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
