So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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