I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
organizing the empties. That sober.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
