You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
