so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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