Where is the hickey?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
