I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
