It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
