We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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