I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
