fuck your aforementioned shoe
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
