They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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