are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
