WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
