Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
